My Current Life Theme Song: Way Back Into Love

The song playing when my page is viewed is Way Back Into Love. I even uploaded a video by Richard Poon singing the same song. Click here to view. I'll upload 7th Soul's version once I capture the complete song (I have a snippet of it pa lang eh)

This song is such an inspiration. Here's the lyrics. And you'll understand why it is so.

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

Oh oh oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

Oh oh oh

UPDATE! 6 - Day Holiday! (sana lang student pa ako!)

SIX - DAY HOLIDAY.. This is what it feels like to be working..

Since Wednesday, it has been raining cats and dogs in NCR. Of course, classes were cancelled and I would be very happy if not for the 2 - day seminar we had to attend in school. The kids are so lucky! If the government would announce that classes tomorrow will also be suspended, it would be a six - day holiday for them! Ggrrrr....

I'm still stuck here in the office, I could not leave yet because my car is still banned from the roads of Manila because of the Vehicle Reduction Scheme to control traffic in the city. I'd still have to wait for 7pm!

UPDATE: Friends from Singapore..

My friends came home from Singapore, one to celebrate his birthday, the other to make wedding arrangements. Some sort of reunion, although its not really like they left the country because we are in constant communication. Thanks to the internet generation! We went out last Saturday and last night for a small get - together.

superbowl dinner with james, sir leo, mam flor and mike

superbowl dinner and the rest of us (tayo tayo ang hair ko)

superbowl dinner with sir glen, marianne, marloun and james

sir glen and me at aruba

mike at aruba

In Love....... With Red and Pink Tulips

I really like tulips, but I used to like yellow tulips. But something changed, seeing a bunch of red and pink tulips really brighten my day! I just love looking at them! May ganito ba sa Pilipinas?

So nice to stare at them... Pink tulips..

Red Tulips

More tulips! Tulips everywhere!

To whom much is given, much is required

My title sounds like a line from the movie Spiderman (Great power comes with great responsibility), but it actually is a line from the Bible. I was so inspired with Father Boyd's sermon, that I included Today's Gospel in this blog.

We should not live in fear to show our love for Christ. I asked myself today, have I asked Jesus to come into my life, to live in me, to stay with me? Jesus is always with us, the question is, have I asked Him to stay? "Parang manliligaw na buntot ng buntot pero di naman pinapansin" as Father Boyd put it. Nakakatwa isipin, pero totoo. Ikaw, tinanong mo na ba sa sarili mo 'yan? "The Son of man will come at an unexpected hour", ikaw, handa ka na ba kapag dumating na ang oras na 'yon? It is never too late to accept Him in our lives. Gawin na natin ngayon, hangga't may oras pa. Habang kaya pa natin. Napaghahandaan nga natin ang mga exams, parties, wedding, gimik, di ba? Let us accept Christ in our lives, let receive God's grace, and live without fear because He is with us. (",)

Here's today's Gospel, from the Book of Luke, Chapter 12, verses 32 to 48:

32	"Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
33	Sell your possessions, and give alms; provide yourselves with purses that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys.
34	For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
35	"Let your loins be girded and your lamps burning,
36	and be like men who are waiting for their master to come home from the marriage feast, so that they may open to him at once when he comes and knocks.
37	Blessed are those servants whom the master finds awake when he comes; truly, I say to you, he will gird himself and have them sit at table, and he will come and serve them.
38	If he comes in the second watch, or in the third, and finds them so, blessed are those servants!
39	But know this, that if the householder had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have left his house to be broken into.
40	You also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an unexpected hour."
41	Peter said, "Lord, are you telling this parable for us or for all?"
42	And the Lord said, "Who then is the faithful and wise steward, whom his master will set over his household, to give them their portion of food at the proper time?
43	Blessed is that servant whom his master when he comes will find so doing.
44	Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions.
45	But if that servant says to himself, `My master is delayed in coming,' and begins to beat the menservants and the maidservants, and to eat and drink and get drunk,
46	the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know, and will punish him, and put him with the unfaithful.
47	And that servant who knew his master's will, but did not make ready or act according to his will, shall receive a severe beating.
48	But he who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, shall receive a light beating. Every one to whom much is given, of him will much be required; and of him to whom men commit much they will demand the more.

Saturday Night Out

Going out is one of my guilty pleasures, I go out at least once a week, at any day of the week. It's sometimes tiring, but really, it's the highlight of my week, it's something to look forward to (aside from going to Church of course). My gimik buddies are normally my bestfriend Janine, or my officemates who have transformed into bowling addicts. Last Saturday, I went out with my college buddies, the F4, or Friday Four. We used to go out every Friday, to rant about the people in our lives (AHEM), have dinner at one of our favorite pizzarias (Don Hen) and just waste the night away.

We had dinner at Super Bowl of China at Glorietta 4, whose service really sucks by the way, and headed off to Tropezz to watch 7th soul. Dennis (who isn't in the picture) had to leave early because he has yet to pack his things because he left yesterday for the US. As usual, our conversations had similar points: work and gadgets. We are gadget freaks but not really geeks. Thank God no more "inquiries" about my now "non-existent" lovelife, I had nothing to share anyway, hehehe! I miss these guys.. I hope we'll be able to go out again like this. Just us 4. Just like before. (",)

Prayer of the Faithful..

Prayer of the Faithful..

EN'07 Rocks.. To the ends of the earth..

Parang rock concert.. Di mo aakalain na ganyan kadami ang tumanggap kay Kristo sa buhay nila! Madami pa ang di nakapunta... Nakakaoverwhelm talaga!

Passages of Encouragement

If you are feeling weary, down or just having a "blah" day, here are words of encourangement taken from the Bible:

Isaiah 40:28-31: "Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

I am feeling a little down today, so I guess instead of wallowing in my "dark clouds", I looked for things that might make feel a little "light". I hope these words also encourage you, if you are having a bad day. (",)

To My Prayer Network: Maraming Salamat!!! Pasado Ako!!!

Hay Thank you God!!! Pasado ako sa BCMSN exam ko! Grabe, akala ko talaga I will not pass the exam, I was on the verge of crying, my palms were sweating kahit super lamig sa exam room, ang dami kasi lumabas sa hindi ko inaral. Buti na lang, God is so good to me, I asked for guidance, ibinigay Niya sakin yun! I got 987 of 1000! Thank you sa inyong lahat! Alam ko all of you prayed for me.. Thank you thank you!!

To God be the glory!!!

Request for Prayers

Sa lahat ng mga friends ko na makakabasa nito.. Wala lang.. I need your help.. Pag pray nyo lang po ako na sana maging successful po yung gagawin ko bukas. Yun lang po.. Thank you thank you!!!

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Early today, I received this text message from this person whom I was confiding in about something that was bothering me. His reply was, "Mataas kc masyado gus2 m...". It was like a slap in the face, that he was telling me the brutal truth. Or was it the truth? Was he telling me that I could not achieve something that I want? I was always told to dream big, aim high, aim for the sky, if in case I fail, I would have fallen on the roof and not on the ground. I would achieve better things if I aim for greater things.

I didn't know what to say to him. I was confused if he was trying to hurt me or was he being a friend because he was telling me the truth. But what he said hurt me. Hurt me a lot. He made me feel little. Inferior. Because I let him do that to me.

I don't want to feel that way again. Today, I made a decision, to stop wallowing in self - pity. Instead of feeling hurt, I will take it as a challenge. Something to push me more to achieve my goal. My Savior will carry me through this rough patch. I just know He will. (",)

Last night, something hit me, it was so simple and yet so true. And I so needed it. What am I talking about?

Last night, my bestfriend Janine and I went out to see our friend perform in Makati. He was performing with other artists and it was a very fun night. One of the artists was Acel Bisa (from Moonstar88), and she sang this song, Silver Lining, she explained it was like a glimpse of great things in the future. It just made me realize something, I need not ask God for what's in store for me, I need not ask God what, why, when and how. I know He has plans for me, great plans for me, I just need to follow the path He made for me and embrace His plans for me. I so loved the song, I decided to find the lyrics, but I got more! I found her site, and the song was uploaded in the site, it had an embeded music player and I got to listen to more of her songs. And I was able to get a link that I can post here. I hope you like this song as much as I do. (",)

You can visit her website: http://acel.eastcurrent.com for more info. But here's the lyrics of the song that I so love right now.

Silver Lining

Written by: Acel Bisa van Ommen
Music by: Acel Bisa van Ommen and Ronnie Ropal
Copyright 2005

I've been trying to read your mind
but i always end up puzzled and surprised
I see myself like I am blind
but you hold my hand and you lead me
coz i know i don't need to worry
i just let you be my guide

Coz i just see a silver lining
a glimpse of your promise to me
but it's not about what it is
or how or if but it's knowing the one who made it

I'd like to know what's in store
yeah it's big but i know for sure
that what i really need is you within my soul
sometimes I put you in a box
and I forget that you are God
but what really matters to you
is my heart

Coz i just see a silver lining
a glimpse of your promise to me
but it's not about what it is
or how or if but it's knowing the one who made it

it's not the promise
but the one who made it
it's you who made it happen
coz you love me

Last night, I asked my friend Richard, why he sounded different. He said it was because he will be trying to crossover to a new genre of music, standards. It was his last performance (that Janine and I will be able to watch) as an acoustic artist. It actually made me a little sad because of the songs he composed, not all of them can be 'transitioned' to standards format. He sounded so good singing his songs, he also sounded good singing standards (he sang samples for me, acapella, while I was driving), of course it will be different with a complete set of musicians to back him up. Janine and I will be watching him sing standards at Eastwood on May 16. Hhhmmm... Ano kaya ang bagong tunog niya?

Last night, I had an interesting night. It was a night full of thought. I promised myself some things, things I would do, things I would not do. I pray to God, that He give me strength to accomplish this promise. Thank you God for bringing me there last night!

Baguio - La Union Five - Day Break

Last Wednesday, the people whom I fondly call "the Cisco Crew" went to Baguio to attend an annual convention which was held in Baguio. This also coincided with the National Cisco Skills Competion for students. Our school got second place, which isn't bad, actually, it was great that they got second place. The students took home 20,000 pesos. But I think the students were quite disappointed because they did want to take home the bacon. Oh well, that's that. It's not the end of the world and for me, they will still be the champs!

Back to the Five - Day Break

I actually had a nice vacation up there in Baguio, for the first time in a few years, I got really wasted, as in totally wasted on our first night there. I did it on purpose, because I could not get that drunk here in Manila because I was always the designated driver (of course maruth, you have to drive your father's car! duh!). In my 3 nights in Baguio, 2 nights of which I got totally drunk, only one night of which I was a little "tipsy". After the 3 days in Baguio, some of us headed to La Union, a surf resort in San Juan, San Fernando. Of course, I didn't want to get dark so I stayed in the shade for most of the afternoon. I was also too lazy to remove my contact lens so I didn't go for a dip in the sea. I just played with the little waves that were reaching my ankles at the beach. We also played a little volleyball (maruth, admit it, you are not a girl because you can't play volleyball!). I did get a tan though, in one arm, because it was this arm that was exposed to the sunlight on the way to the beach. I can't do anything about it! It looks so damn funny. My arms have uneven color. As in!

One - Two - Three Pass!

Saturday night, Sebay Resort. A few of our students, officemates and boss played one - two - three pass. If our hand landed on top of the pile, we'd have to choose between Truth or Consequence. Damn, I was really bad in games! I was the biggest loser of the night. I had to do 2 truths and 2 dares. I really had to share a little secret that I have been keeping for quite sometime now. And 1 dare that involved another person that was part of the little secret I was talking about. Just looking back at what happened is making me smile a silly smile. Hahaha!

Let's Sing Songs..

I was on my way home last night, when this song played on the radio. It was a very long commute because it was so traffic in Cavite (by the way, I was not driving, I was just a passenger! What a miracle! hehehe). It stuck to my head (LSS ba ito?). Here's the lyrics, will try to find the song soon!

You Got It All
The Jets

I, I was a game he would play
He brought the clouds to my day
Then like a ray of light
You came my way one night
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
You're better than all the rest
Who do I love the best

Don't you know, don't you know

You got it all over him
You got me over him
Honey it's true
There's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call you went
Out on a limb
And you're all that he's not
Just look what I got
Cause you got it all
Over him

No, don't let him worry you so
Once I met you I let go
Oh you can surely see
You're so much more to me
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
You're better than all the rest
Who do I love the best
Don't you know, don't you know

You got it all over him
You got me over him
Honey it's true
There's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call you went
Out on a limb
And you're all that he's not
Just look what I got
Cause you got it all
All over him
(You got it all over him, You got me over him)
Honey it's true there's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call you went
Out on a limb
And you're all that he's not
Just look what I got
Cause you got it all
All over him

***side comment: Ngayon ko lang narealize (April 2), kaya ko pala gusto tong song na ito, kasi meaningful pala ito sa akin ngayon.. Kaya pala.. hehehe...***

Here's another song, I've already uploaded it my playlist. Yah, it's under the emote playlist, well, I play this when I'm feeling a bit low. (ganun?)

Trying To Get The Feeling Again
Christian Bautista (Remake)

At any moment she'll be walking through that door
She won't find me behind it
cause the feeling is gone and
just won't come back anymore
I work so hard to find it

I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
All around, trying to get the feeling again
The one that make me shiver
Make my knees start to quiver
Every time she walks in

I've looked high, low
Everywhere I possibly can
But there's just no trying to get the feeling again
It seemed to disappear as fast as it came

read every book
look for every meditation and poem
just to bring home that old sweet sensation
but it ain't no used to me, trying to get the feeling again

Where did it run to? I thought I'd done all that I could
To keep the love burning
But whatever I've done, I just haven't done it too good
Cause all that's left is yearning

I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
Like a bloodhound searching for a long lost friend
could you help me rediscover
the way to re be her lover once again

read every book
look for every meditation and poem
just to bring home that old sweet sensation
But it ain't no used to me, to try and get that feeling
I want to get that feeling again

I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
trying to get the feeling again

My First Official Entry

I'm finally using multiply account for my blogs.  Although I'll still use my blogspot account, I think I'll also begin writing here. 

let me begin..

with work!

     Today, I was supposed to be in school, checking and grading papers as always especially at this time of the term.  It's the end of the term, and I think, I am almost done with what I am supposed to do.  I have to say, this term is not one of my best terms, I was completely lazy, I paid very little attention to my courses and taught only the basics.  Well, not really, I covered the whole syllabus and actually added a little more, but not as much as I expected.

     Like I said, I stayed home today to rest, watched TV, and a Korean movie, as I am very excited to go on a vacation!

with friends...

     My friends are actually starting to leave the country.  Well, it started with my guy-bestfriend who left a few years ago to try his luck in Saudi and then went on to Singapore.  He does come home at least once a year but it has never been the same when he's here hearing me out, making his ears bleed with all my yappings..

     Leslie Boy is one of my friends whom I can always count on if I do not want to go out alone.  He's always game to watch movies, hang out or play at the nearest arcade (TIMEZONE!!).  He's even accompanied us girls in The Spa (over at Jupiter)!  He's now in the US, and we can really feel his absence..

     Next to leave is my best friend since high school.  We practically grew up together.  We've been bestfriends for more than half of our lives.  We shared so much together.  Even in misfortunes in our lovelives, we have so much in common.  She's really my soulmate.  She's in UK right now, and we only get to share stories via email or chat...

     James, a college friend, will also leave for Singapore next week.  On Wednesday, we might go out to give a "despedida" party for him.  I do hope he'll do great there!

     My bestfriend Mina is also bound to leave the country, she'll be leaving for Japan by the end of March.  She will be coming home though to attend our friends' wedding in October, but preparing for it would not be the same without her..

     These stories are starting to fill my eyes with tears..

"Strong Enough?"

A title of a song. Sung by Sheryl Crow. It just gives so much meaning to what I feel right now. I don't know, maybe its just all in my head. It feels like I'm floating, I'm lightheaded, but not in love as others may think.

I've been on a rollercoaster ride these past few weeks, spreading myself too thin in all the things I want to do, but the consolation is, I really am enjoying. I am having the time of my life, eventhough I am not with anybody.

**********Valentine's Day**********

My bestfriends gave this bouquet last Valentine's Day, it's very seldom that I receive flowers but I really love receiving them. Nice noh?

**********Cisco Skills Competition**********

Last Friday, the Mapua Team (School of ECE) won the first place in the NCR Cluster competition held at AMA Makati. They will be competing together with 4 others schools coming from different clusters throughout the Philippines. We are gunning for the First Place. I just hope they prepare enough for this competition. Here are my boys!

Mam from C3P, Sir G, Master Ninoy, Baby Jack, Andre Kulit, Silent Mike

and the rest of the C3P officers

Last night, we celebrated the victory at Syndel (videoke bar in Malate). Although the place was crawling with gay men, we had a blast because everybody participated in the singing (some of US were not willing to let go of the mic, hehehe!). I actually got wasted last night and woke up really early this morning. Pictures to be uploaded soon!

What I Have Learned in 2006

(A Collection of Clichés and What-not)

Here are some of the things I learned last year, some of them, I heard from a movie, a TV drama, a book I read or just conversing with people.

• More thought should be put into ending a relationship than beginning a new one.
• Not all problems have solutions. Sometimes we just have to let the problem solve itself. I guess it will. Eventually.
• Good friends can be counted using only one hand. Friends will come and go.
• There's such a thing as quarter-life crisis. It's the reason of "insanity" of some people my age.
• No man is an island. We will always have the urge to find somebody. Anybody.
• You can not have everything. At least you are not supposed to have everything.
• Love does not conquer all. Love for oneself does.
• The grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Sometimes, greener is not always better. It is just greener.
• Loving someone would mean giving that person the power to hurt you. But if he truly loves you, he would be very careful not to hurt you.
• The person who broke my heart does not have the right to dictate how I mend it. There are things that that person should not be able to control.
• When you are born, you are actually starting to die.

Will add some more as soon as I remember them all. (",)

Falling Into A Relapse

I've been ok these past few weeks, keeping myself busy and not thinking of the problems a past relationship has brought me. Basically, I was avoiding (like I always do) the problems. And I was doing good at it. I was actually forgetting all about it. And I was starting to fall for someone. He is starting to notice me. But then, one day, I had to do the most stupid thing. I messaged the most recent ex. It's not like all the feelings came back, I am quite sure now that I have very little feelings for him now. But it's the "ego / pride thing" that's killing me now. Why could he not fight for me? I am all good. That much I know. I wasn't the lucky one who's getting him, he's the lucky one who's receiving me. But why could he not chose me? Why not me?

Now, I am in this lonely hole I dropped myself into since messaging him. I couldn't tell anyone what I did because I'll never hear the end of it. I've done the most stupid thing! I hate relapses. It's making me do stupid things, say stupid stuff and hurt myself in the process. To think this season has the highest rate of depression. I'd really hate it if I fall into depression again. I just won't be able to handle it. I just can't.

My Christmas Wishlist!!

This year, I have a few things that I would like to buy for myself. I am not really looking forward to receiving them but if someone would be able to afford it, then that would be really nice. I've categorized them to two, the I CAN BUY NOW and the I CAN'T BUY NOW...

I CAN'T BUY NOW LIST

1) a new desktop pc or laptop (with an Intel Centrino or AMD Turion processor, at least) -- will get this soon!

2) the Motorola V3x 3G phone

3) a new Guess watch

4) Personal Training Sessions

5) Spa Visits

6) Bed Matress

I CAN BUY NOW LIST

1) a new sling bag (of course in black)

2) new pairs of shoes (of course, every woman desires these)

3) a new pair of denim jeans

4) new long or 3/4 sleeved shirts and blouses

5) Entourage, Smallville, Friends and some Korean Drama Series on DVD -- got them!
6) Voice Lessons (hehehe)

Will add new ones if ever I think of something else... (**,)