DAZED and CONFUSED

It's so damn hard to live. It's so damn hard to be a friend to me. I am so confused at what I want right now. I don't know what to do with myself. I have no direction in life. I can't ask for my friends' help anymore. I think it's too tiring to hear my problems, over and over again. I am at my wick's end. I have been avoiding this feeling for the past month. I know that all of this is going to catch up with me. I just want to be alone, or left alone. To think. But so much has been bothering me. I can't have the leisure and freedom to think, to be alone. I just want to rest. I just want a week for myself. No worries, no people to bug me, no pressure. But I can't. I have been giving so much to other people. I have nothing more for myself. I know I wanted to think of me first, but I just could not do it. I always feel guilty that I am being selfish. I want to spend money on myself, but I can't, because of all the responsibilities I have at home. I just want to lay in bed for a whole day, but I can't, I have to go to work. I want to drink til I can't see straight, I can't because I have to drive home, or I have to think of the headache in the morning. I want to shout. I want to fly. I just want to do whatever I want. Without limits. Without boundaries.