Disclaimer: Emote blog, may bore you to death.
I believe it's a dream for everyone to fall in love and be loved back, or just find somebody to love. Well, in my twenty - something years (ayaw pa aminin!), I fell in love, got hurt and recovered. I've learned and moved on. But sometimes, I can't help but remember the past, look back, think it through, and ask myself, "What went wrong? What did he want? What is he looking for? What was I looking for?". And during those times, I find myself overwhelmed with emotion, and tears flow down from my eyes. A single song can start a bucket-full of tears. Just like this one: LIPS OF AN ANGEL (by Hinder). I can so relate to the song. I think the song was made for me (hahaha! kapal ng mukha!)
Honey why you calling me so late? It's kinda hard to talk right now.
It started with friendship, just like any other romantic relationship. It ended after almost two years, one day, we just felt that it would be better to love each other as friends than constantly hurt each other as lovers. We wanted to save the friendship, so we stopped being lovers. Dreams were shattered. Hearts were broken. We remained friends, best of friends even. We shared victories and defeats, laughter and tears, joys and sorrows. But sometimes, I feel like I got the bad end of the deal. Why? Because he's got somebody now. When I don't.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay? I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud.
Last year, I called him, the night of my birthday, we talked (on the mobile!) for more than 15 minutes. Well, more of I sobbed for 15 minutes, and he listened while I cried my eyes out. He felt so guilty. I didn't blame him for anything. I just cried and cried.
Well, my girl's in the next room. Sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on. It's really good to hear your voice say my name. It sounds so sweet. Coming from the lips of an angel, hearing those words it makes me weak. And I never wanna say goodbye. But girl you make it hard to be faithful, With the lips of an angel.
We still get together for snacks or dinner. We still have the long talks. We still make each other smile and laugh. I sometimes wonder why we parted ways. Sometimes I wish we should have saved the relationship. We should have worked on the difficulties.
It's funny that you're calling me tonight. And, yes, I've dreamt of you too.
I constantly dream about him, and I normally tell him about it. It varies from the things that happened in the past, things that I want or may have wanted to happen, or things that he may have wanted to happen. And it starts this rollercoaster of feelings of I don't know what. I really can't explain it.
And does she know you're talking to me, will it start a fight. No I don't think she has a clue.
I know he is in a commited relationship right now. Sometimes I regret the fact that I let him go, that I did not fight for him. And sometimes, I feel guilty whenever he spends time with me to talk or just listen to my endless stories and problems, because he should be spending it with his girl. I feel confused with all of these feelings, and I have been praying hard that I lose all these confusing feelings.
Well, my girl's in the next room. Sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on. It's really good to hear your voice say my name. It sounds so sweet. Coming from the lips of an angel, hearing those words it makes me weak. And I never wanna say goodbye. But girl you make it hard to be faithful, With the lips of an angel.
I'd like to think that I've already moved on. That we moved on. But being truly honest with myself, I know I still love him, it's just that I really don't get to show him that love on a regular basis that's making it easy for me. Occasionally, I wish that we lost touch, that we never really kept contact, or stop being friends, even just for awhile, until I'm completely healed. Just until I find someone new. Just until I can say "I don't love you."
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