Bad 3P ako! Sobra!

Bakit may mga taong walang alam gawin kundi mambastos? Tao ka naman haharap sa kanila, pero gagaguhin ka pa din nila. Nakakabwisit lang dahil di naman ako nakikipagbiruan, seryoso naman ako, pero ganun pa din. Nagbihis na nga ako ng maayos, pero ganun pa din, nabastos pa din ako. Napakahirap ba gumalang? Lalo sa babae?

Appreciation

Congratulations Sis!!!
One of my bestfriends received an award yesterday for being reliable in delivering results.. Wow, I'm so proud of you Janine!! Buti ka pa, your efforts are being appreciated by your superiors.. hehehe..

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Thank yous...
I have been receiving a lot of help from my student community, my beloved MP-RH.. I have so many things to do and I am just very thankful that they are there to lend a helping hand.. I appreciate the help very much..
Kudos to my MP-RH family: Kresa, Kenneth, Amer, Candido, Louie, Emman, Tristan and Jonathan.. and to my ComLab family: Jane, Dianne, Don, Leonard, Vlad..

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Random Chu-chus..
I have been down these past few days.. I don't know why.. Maybe the red flag is coming.. but I really am sad.. Sad because the news circulating around.. Career.. Love life.. Stuff like that.. I dunno.. Maybe I am just sensitive.. I really can't explain neither understand what's going on.. I really am nuts...
Try nitpicking the mind of a nutcase...

Bilangin Natin Ang Minsan

Minsan, gusto mo nang seryosohin ang buhay, pero minsan, ikaw naman ang di sineseryoso ng buhay..

Minsan, akala mo, nakahanap ka na ng taong para sa iyo, pero minsan, joke time lang pala..

Minsan, cute siya, pero minsan, hindi.. At hindi mo maipaliwanag kung bakit..

Minsan, masaya ka kapag kasama mo sha, pero minsan, malungkot, dahil alam mong hindi pwede..

Minsan, emote ka, pero minsan, nageemote emote-an ka lang..

Minsan, aayaw ka na, pero pag gising mo sa susunod na araw, alam mong sya pa din ang hinahanap hanap mo..

Kung ganito kadami ang minsan, sana maging madalas na lang ang minsan..

Yun lang.. Kaya nga minsan lang eh..

Going... going... gone...

I am having a hard time saying goodbyes.. I am at a crossroad again.. I can't seem to bring myself to say goodbye. But this time, I really need to go. It is a choice between friends and family. And I have to support my family. If saying goodbye to my present job will burn bridges, well, I have to accept the consequences. I just hope these people will understand my needs..

I Dreamt of You Last Friday..

What??? I dreamt of him last Friday.. Bothered by what has been happening between the two of us, I really had a dream about him, Friday night.. Maybe I was thinking about him too much..

I miss him na agad.. What is happening with me? I hate this, I really hate this.. But I miss him.. I mean, I miss the "old" him... Haay..

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Mga sis, help me deal naman with this.. I don't know what to think of or say anymore.. Obsessed ba ako? Nakakainis.. Nakaka-sad.. Tama ata ang hinala ko.. I think he lost interest na.. Matagal na ata.. Too late na ata ako.. hehehe..

I'm beginning to like you.. I am sorry, am I not supposed to?

Yes, I am beginning to like you, possibly, I already like you. Just like what my friend said, I have been “infected”. Suddenly, I was smiling from the heart again. My eyes had a different twinkle in them. And my friends were starting to notice.

Just the thought of conversing with you, just the memory of the sound of your voice, the way your eyes light up when you laugh, the dimples near your lips that appear when you smile, all of these bring joy to my heart..

But what happened, should I not like you? Suddenly, I feel like you are pushing me away. Have I done something that really bothered you?

You are a wonderful person. I find you very adorable. And the more I get to know you, the more I discover things about you, the more I feel for you. The more I want to be there for you, to share your joys and pains, to support you.

Have you changed your mind about me? Should I stay away? I hope I’ll know sooner.. Even though it really pains me to stop these feelings for you, I will, if you ask me to.

I am sorry; I am beginning to like you. You may not believe it, but I really want to fall for you and love you.

I Don't Get You

I am having a hard time understanding you, what is going on in that little head of yours? Have I done something wrong? Or have you done something wrong?

Are you getting frustrated? Well, maybe I am too. Your frustration is rubbing off on me. But I am dealing with things head on. I must deal with things head on. Why can't you do the same thing too? Don't run away, please don't push me away. You might not be able to pull me back.

I am here. I am real.

Bibitiw na ako..

Haay.. magtatago na ulit ako sa aking shell.. I'll be hiding my face again behind a happy mask.. Showing everyone that everything is fine.. That I'll be fine.. I know I am going to be fine..

* * * * * * * *

Mina, thanks for the encouraging words, but I think, this time I have to give up.. I think there are too many complications eh.. That's why I choose to give up this time.. Malay mo in the near future di ba.. Please don't mention names ah, he might be reading my blogs.. Please.. Thank you ulit! Luv yah sis!!!

(",)

Nababagalan Ako sa Kanya

Naiinip na ako. Baka nga hindi nya ako gusto. Mahirap ba akong abutin? Hindi naman di ba, nandyan lang naman ako lagi sa tabi nya. Baka kasi di sya lumilingon sa tabi tabi. Nakakalungkot isipin, gusto nya ako, kung kailan nagustuhan ko na din sya, ayaw na yata nya sa akin..

Baka nga.. It's not meant to be.. Like I said, I still believe in love, I still have faith in love. Love will find me again. Even if it takes a while..

Lahat ng bagay na nangyayari sakin, I try to relate it to a song, so here's my song for you... (Although, the pang-guy yung kanta.. so syempre sana may female version yung song..hihihi!)

--(",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",)--

Let Me Love You

Mario

Mmmm ..... Mmmmm.... Yeah....Mmmmm....

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Mmmm...Yeah....Mmmm.....

Yeah, Yeah

Baby I just don't get it

Do you enjoy being hurt?

I know you smelled the perfume,

The make-up on his shirt

You don't believe his stories

You know that they're all lies

Bad as you are,

You stick around

And I just don't know why

If I was ya man (baby you)

Never worry bout (what I do)

I'd be coming home (back to you)

Every night, doin' you right

You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)

Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)

Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)

[Chorus:]

You should let me love you

Let me be the one to

Give you everything you want and need

Baby good love and protection

Make me your selection

Show you the way love's supposed to be

Baby you should let me love you,

Love you, love you

[Verse 2:]

Listen

Your true beauty's description

Looks so good that it hurts

You're a dime plus ninety-nine

And it's a shame

Don't even know what you're worth

Everywhere you go they stop and stare

Cause you're bad and it shows

From your head to your toes,

Out of control

[Bridge:]

You deserve better girl (you know you deserve better)

We should be together girl (baby)

With me and you it's whatever girl, hey!

So can we make this thing ours?

--(",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",)--

I Love This Song....

. . . . . (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) . . . . .

Suntok sa Buwan

Session Road

Hindi mo ba alam
Damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan
Makasama ka'y suntok sa buwan

'Di mo nga alam
Mundo mo nga'y iyong tignan
Kung ganyan, walang pupuntahan

Hindi ko 'to gusto
Pero 'wag kang lalayo

Itanong mo sa akin
At tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin

'Di mo napapansin
Kailangan mo akong dinggin
'Di habang buhay ika'y aantayin

Ito'y aking hiling
At sana naman ay tanggapin
Ng puso ko'y 'di nabibitin

. . . . . (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) (",) . . . . .

*** I do love this song.. I sing this with conviction.. to the max!!! ***

HITCH!

Starring:Will Smith

Watched Hitch last night.. All I can say is, this is the best romantic - comedy movie I've seen ever! This is one movie I'd like to watch over and over..

To guys out there: you can learn so many things from this movie, from meeting women to lines that you might want to use with your girlfriend that will surely melt their hearts...

I give this movie a two-thumbs up, 5-stars, and a whole lot of applause!

Troubled Me...

Troubled Throat..
I am sick once again, feeling the fever sometimes, but what has been bothering me is my voice. My voice has been working against me for the past 2 weeks. I can't really speak continuous for 30 minutes because my voice starts to fade.. Well, my profession requires me to speak non - stop.. How am I going to do that?

Troubled Mind..
Too many decisions to make, just not sure if I have enough courage to stand up for my decisions... I have been receiving UNWANTED attention for quite sometime now from two persons whom I have ABSOLUTELY no interest for. I believe I've tried my best to show that I have no interest at all and can not offer anything more.. I really do not want to be bothered by them. What makes them think that I have the time of day for them when I am too busy with my own stuff... Why can't they leave me alone?

Troubled Heart..
I have confided with my PPG sistahs that I am falling for someone..(",) But again, I am hounded with dozens of hesitations.. Why can't I just dive in on dark waters?

Paasa?? Who me?? Confessions of a Female Commitment Phobe..

Paasa: someone who gives "false hopes"

A friend told me last Saturday that I was "paasa". Not really, I am basically friendly, and once I see that a person is worth my friendship, I really give my 100% friendship to that person, no malice. Most of the time, other people mistake this type of behavior as something like "I like the person" or if it happens that the person likes me, he might mistake it as hope for something more of a friendship.

Well, it's like this, I do not believe in courtship, I believe in getting to know the real person. It has been said many times that during the courtship phase, both the girl and the boy show only their good side. Well, for me, it doesn't work that way. I always want to see the real person, how he deals with conflicts, drama and other stuff that most people in a relationship deal with. So, during this "getting to know you" phase, the other person I am getting to know thinks that we are in a "relationship" or we might have a future together. It sucks, I know. Maybe I don't make it clear enough to show that I am trying to get to know him. Maybe I should exert more effort in stating it in "clear cut sentences" so as to avoid any confusion. I hate getting hurt and I also hate hurting other people.

It's true, I am afraid of commitment, terrified of settling with one person alone for the next few months, years or even a lifetime. Afraid to see his faults, and not be able to accept them. I know, I am not perfect. But that's just me.
I've been in a couple of relationships before, I did learn to accept them, faults and all, why did it fail? Because we were always in bad situations. I need not explain it here. HAHAHA! That's why I have been this way, too many bad relationships and combined with bad "role models" on love. Now, I am afraid to commit. Afraid to let go of my feelings, to allow any feeling that I know will lead to "falling in love". Totally terrified of getting hurt again and again. Afraid to risk... To be dependent on someone... Again, that's just me, and it really sucks! (",)

A Good Lesson on Love..

To the Almost Hopeless, Hopeless and Loveless..

This is an excerpt form Paulo Coelho's book: By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept..
"....But love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it, because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to stretch out a hand and pluck the fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love where we find it, even if that mean hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness.
The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us.
And save us....."

Beautiful words of hope.. This has given me a brand new outlook on love..

I am a Magnet of Committed Men

I do not know really what is with me, but men who are currently committed tend to fall for me. Why can't I be a magnet of single men? Why committed guys?

Celebrating My 25th Birthday..

"Go, go, go shawty....It's your birthday...We gonna party like it's yo birthday...We gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday..."

Hey, I turned 25 today, and I don't feel like a day over 23! hahahah! My age went from 18, skipped a few years and now, I'm 23, hahahah!

Absynth Celebration, January 13-14, 2005

Gerry's Grill Celebration, January 21, 2005







MPRH Celebration, January 22, 2005

My Guy..

Some of my friends say, I like bad boys daw, some say I like the boy-next-door kind.. Well, I am pretty confused. Sometimes I do like the bad boy, sometimes, I do like the boy-next-door..

Actually, physically, I am attracted to the boy-next-door type, the crisp white shirt, the well kept trendy hair, the fair-colored skin..

However, with the "trend" I've been having (all my exes seem to have similar qualities except for one), I seem to like the bad boy type.. The unruly hair (but definitely not dirty!), the manly color, and the "cool-guy" look..

But it's just physical, I don't want to limit my options by defining something that will change eventually.. For now, I am dealing with things one day at a time (or should I say, one man at a time! hahaha!! I wish!) (",)

I read this from a bulletin board message in friendster.. I think its really nice.. Read on..

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HOW 2 KIP UR GIRL IN LUV WITH YOU

• Play with her hair.
• Talk to her in movie theatres. Snuggle, Hold her hand, and lightly kiss her.
• Pick her up and pretend you're going to throw her in the river; she'll scream and fight you but secretly, she'll love it.
• Hold her hand and walk. Hold her hand and run. Just hold her hand.
• Pick flowers from other peoples Yards and give them to her.
• Tell her she looks beautiful. Introduce her to your friends as "The most amazing girl I know''.
• Sit in the park and talk to her.
• Take her to the library, ice skating, playgrounds, and coffee shops.
• Tell her dirty jokes. Tell her stupid jokes...Whatever it takes to make her Laugh.
• Write poems and songs about her.
• Walk with her, even if its just around the block. Throw pebbles at her window at night. Surprise her.
• Do things that make her smile, make her laugh, and make her want to kiss you right on the face.
• Be spontaneous. When she starts yelling at you, tell her you love her. Give her back rubs. Play mud football with her. Play in the snow with her. (How I wish we have snow here..)
• Let her fall asleep in your arms.
• Call her... even if its just to say hi. Call her back right away if she calls you.
• Jump on the bed with her.
• Sing to her, no matter how bad you are.
• Carve your names into a tree.
• Get her mad, and then kiss her. (Really cute! I really recommend this!)
• Give her piggy-back rides.
• Stay up with her all night.
• Leave her little unexpected notes.. on the car, or on her door, or in her locker saying how much she means to you.
• Take her to romantic places and lay out blankets to look at the stars*.
• Make up nicknames for each other.
• Show up at her school or class unexpectedly.
• Send flowers and dorky notes that only you two understand.
• Teach her guitar. Lend her your cds.
• Make her cds of songs that remind you of her. Write her letters.
• If she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even if it means a 5-hour car trip. Go out on a road trip even if theres no destination or you cant be gone long.
• Take her to cool shops, and let her take you to even cooler ones.
• Listen to her favorite songs.
• When shes sad or sick, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if shes not saying anything. Buy her ice cream.
• Let her take all the pictures of you she wants. Look into her eyes.
• Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast.
• Kiss her in the rain. Kiss her in the snow... Kiss her when she least expects it. And always tell her "I love you!"....

Year 2004 - The Year that was.. The Year of the Monkey

We'll I only realized this 2nd day of January that the previous year was the year of the monkey, and I was born on the year of the monkey..

I have a few things to be thankful for last year, some of them are as follows:

• I finally graduated. I completed my Master's Degree on Engineering, Major in Computer and Communications
• I completed the CCNA course
• I passed the CCNA Certification Exams
• I became a regular employee (faculty) of Mapua Tech
• I gained and lost weight
• Most important of all, I know that in troubled times, I can always rely on my siblings and my closest, truest friends..

'Twas an interesting year, time has passed so quickly, and in a few days, I will be a year older again.. Haayyy...

A Love Letter for an Old Friend, an Old Love

Dear You,

Getting over you was the hardest thing I ever have to do. You knew almost everything about me. Well, almost.. I don't think you knew how much you meant to me. That you were my world, my life, the air I breathed in, the fire that kept my passion burning. You knew of my passion but never its intensity. I sacrificed my values, principles and some things I believed in because I was inlove with you, because I valued our "relationship" very much. I believed you when you made that promise of "As soon as.." and I waited. But you never came back. Now, I see that you are happy in the arms of someone else. I have to admit at first I was bitter, but I accepted it all, that my love for you was stronger that the feeling of hatred. Still, I could not accept the fact that you never came back, that you fell in love with someone else and left me all alone.

But that was then. Everything's different now, time has healed all the wounds that this love has caused. And I want to thank you for the experience. For the joys and pain. For opening my eyes to a whole new world.

Yes I am still alone, but I am happy. I do not know when I'll fall in love again. You came in to my life so unexpectedly, maybe the next one will arrive the same way you did, but I hope this time, not in the same circumstances we were in.

I still want you to know something, maybe because my conscience has bothered me about this for a long time, I neve replaced you with that other guy, he was helping me deal with the pain. HE NEVER TOOK YOUR PLACE in my heart. Everything was untrue. It was a false romance. What you saw between me and that guy was a show. Nothing more.

I bid farewell to you old friend, because I had let go of all my feelings for you. I wish you the same happiness that you were able to bring me, as I hope you wish the same happiness for me too. God bless always..

The memory of us will always be with me.. Take care..

Baby